Easier Said Than Done: Embracing The Unknown
“The middle is messy, but it’s where the magic happens.”
In a culture that glorifies having it all together, like, all the time…I’m here to remind you that you actually don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Guess what? You don’t even need a plan for how you’re gonna “get there,” wherever there is. I hope you can trust me when I say, life works on life’s terms…no matter how much we think we’re in control, we need to acknowledge the reality that more often than not, where we end up depends on factors completely outside of our control.
I don’t mean for this to be a throw-in-the-towel situation…a, “why should I even care, then? If it’s beyond my control anyway.” Instead, I want to challenge you to think about the bigger picture, in a way that totally counters our culture of always do more and always be better. I’m here to remind you that your plan…your “answers”…really pale in comparison to what the world has in store for you. After all, they only exist within the scope of what you know is out there and what you know your options are. They don’t include what you have yet to discover, what the Universe hasn’t made known to you in terms of what’s available to you yet. So yes, feel free to think through things and plan for your future…but please, please balance this with knowing that there is more out there for you than you can possibly plan for right now. More joy, more fulfillment, more adventure, more experience and more growth than you can conceptualize in a to-do list or a step-by-step, “this is how I’ll get to where I want to be.” Give yourself permission to let go of the expectation to know it all, and know it now and instead breathe, trust, and let the Universe (or God, or whatever your meaning-making system happens to be) do her thing.
Before we keep going, though, let’s get one thing straight. This also doesn’t mean that the alternative here is to sit by and let things happen to you (a common misconception…that the opposite of planning is to just do nothing). I’m saying that the process starts with letting go; that is the beginning and the foundation on which we can work within the unknown. Letting go of our need to control everything frees us to work from a place of peace, and gives us infinitely more access to our inner guide – our intuitive power that serves to steer us in the right direction, without needing an exact destination.
Acknowledging our desire to control, and what happens when we feel lost or out of control is a reclaiming of this power. We can see with much more clarity that we’ve been sold the idea that we’re in charge; the notion that when our “plan” fails or falls through, it’s our fault, or we’re not good enough, or that by just doing more we’ll figure things out. It is only from this place of understanding that we can then reject this notion. We can fully embrace the unknown for what it is…a place of mystery, a place that often feels uncomfortable, and a place that holds unlimited potential for our future.
From here, we are fully and completely open to the infinite, intangible opportunities that surround us that we previously didn’t know existed. We allow space for new opportunities, new ideas, without dismissing them because they “weren’t part of the plan.” We become more in tune with the timing of our lives and can notice, without judgment where we’re at and why we’re there. From this place, we become intuitively aware of our next best step…we know what is right for us, simply because we are connected to ourselves. We free ourselves from the second guessing and anxiety that comes with always having to know, and when we make decisions, we embrace them wholeheartedly.
If you’re someone who struggles with not having a plan, who is made comfortable by the unknown…I encourage you to find time to take space, without distraction and reflect on the following:
What is your relationship with uncertainty? Describe, in detail, what meanings you attach to the concept of uncertainty, and how uncertainty makes you feel.
Write down moments in your life that you were pleasantly surprised by what life had in store for you. To what extent did you control what happened, and to what extent were things out of your control?
Finally, imagine what it might be like to let go. How would you feel? What could happen? Let yourself go there…take time to explore what could happen when you release yourself from the limitations you’ve been placing on yourself all this time.
Finally, know that it’s okay to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to figure it out. You’ll be okay, and your life won’t stop moving forwards. Try pouring some of that energy into trusting that it’ll figure itself out, and see what happens. I have a feeling you’ll be pleasantly surprised.